


The Fall

by anyagrace



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, First Meetings, Late twenties Levi, Young Petra, look what you made me do, no one told me that writing fanfictions were this stressful, rivetra, shoutout to isayama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:08:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29604342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyagrace/pseuds/anyagrace
Summary: Young Petra Ral witnessed the fall of Wall Maria. In the middle of chaos, a Survey Corps soldier becomes her salvation.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Petra Ral, Levi Ackerman/Petra Ral
Comments: 12
Kudos: 27





	The Fall

The little girl was not in the mood to behave like a lady. She thought this as she scratched the side of her head, the red ribbon moving once again. Petra noticed her Mama gave her a side-eye. A warning. Another scratch and she’d surely be dead even before they reach their destination.

This was a Sunday morning. By this time, if she were in Trost, fourteen-year-old Petra Ral would have her knee down to her feet covered in mud. Her fingers, especially her nails, would have a bit of green in them (because she loves picking the wet grass in the morning), and her skin would smell like the early morning dew. That was life at the farm with her Papa.

Life with her Mama, however, is different.

At the age of eight, Petra accepted the fact that their family is different. Her weekdays were spent with her father (which was five days a week of laughing, eating vegetables and goose meat, and wandering on the farm), while the weekends were with her mother.

 _We live in a different world, darling. But you are the best of both worlds_ , her father had told her once while he stirs a pot of vegetable soup. It was the best soup Petra ever had.

The remaining two days of the week were spent in fancy dresses, tea parties, and steak dinners. Petra never really liked those ‘steak dinners’ though.

Perhaps her mother is someone who people call ‘rich’ inside the walls. She lives in Sina with her new husband and two sons. The eldest was five and the youngest was two. Both of them have blond hair, like their father.

In her mother and her new husband's manor (Is that the word? Ah, but it was a big, big house with a lot of room and women who wear the same white clothes), she has her own room filled with nice dresses. Pinks, reds, and purples. Petra doesn't like those colors. Her father said that orange really suits her, so, Petra convinced Mama to buy her orange dresses instead. She has ten orange dresses now.

(One time, she came home from Sina wearing one of those orange dresses. Her Papa cried until dinner because he said she looked beautiful. Oluo, the annoying kid in their neighborhood who bullies her started being kind to her after that. But only a little.)

“Petra Ral. If you don’t stop scratching your head, I will throw you out of the carriage.” Her mother hissed beside her.

“But the ribbon is itchy…” she whispered under her breath.

Petra entertained herself by looking outside of the carriage instead, her face puffed. Are they here yet? They have been traveling since yesterday afternoon. She’d been afraid that they won’t make it to the farm before Monday morning. Weekends with her mother were always hell.

“Mama,” her mother’s eyes are closed now, and she held a string of beads, her mouth moves as she murmured ‘thank you's and guide us’, “where are we going again?”

Her mother did not respond but the murmurs continue.

_Oh Maria, Oh Rose, Oh Sina. Our Patrons. Thank you for the protection of the walls. We wish for your guidance in our journey._

_Oh Maria, Oh Rose, Oh Sina. Our Patrons. Thank you for the protection of the walls. We wish for your guidance in our journey._

_Oh Maria, Oh Rose, Oh Sina. Our Patrons. Thank you for the protection of the walls. We wish for your guidance in our journey._

“Mama.” Petra tugged at her mother’s sleeve. It was silk. That, she loves. The feel of it reminded her of the baby horses on the farm.

When the murmurs stopped, Petra expected that her mother would give her an answer. But she got a scolding instead.

“Petra,” her eyes were red and wide, “did I not told you to never interrupt me when I am praying to the goddesses? What would you do if they forsake us? Do you want me to live in the dumpster like your father?” Her mama was horrified.

The farm she lived on five days a week was far from a dumpster. It was paradise. The air is clean, the people are nice, and there are plenty of vegetables. Plus, there are many fields to run to. It was her home. Her sanctuary. And she doesn’t want anyone to soil her home, not even her own mother. She was mad.

“It’s not a dumpster. It's mine and Papa's farm.” She felt her face heating up. Surely, her eyebrows were knitted. She always does that when she's angry, a trait she got from the woman beside her. Petra wished her mama noticed the fury in her voice. She really wished.

Her mother shook her head. Petra felt like she had given her mother a headache.

“I do not like the tone of your voice, young lady.” Mama pointed her finger at Petra, her breath flared. A far-fetched look engraved in her face. “And countless times I told you to call me mother! If the women in Sina heard you, I—!” Mama's hands moved to her head, massaging her temples. “You silly girl! Go and pray to the goddesses! Apologize for your disobedience to your mother!”

The older woman handed Petra the string of beads she’s holding earlier. She doesn’t know how to pray. She never listened to her lessons with Mrs. Walter (the etiquette teacher her mama hired to teach her). But she accepted the strings of beads.

Petra prayed to the goddesses that she wouldn’t have to do this anymore. She prayed that her mama, err, mother, never force her to do anything she doesn’t like anymore. She prayed that she wouldn’t have to go to Sina anymore. That was all her desires.

She repeated her prayers again and again. And in between whispering her desires to the goddesses, Petra fell asleep to the carriage.

***

“Uhm...The squad leader said…uh, said that…you should wear the jacket uniform.”

Levi squinted his eyes as he looked up, a puny soldier from Garrison stood before him, shielding the bright sunlight that was previously on his face.

“Huh?”

The soldier immediately ran away. That was a common response to a former thug from the underground. In his one year on the surface, he learned two things. The first is that people, in and out of the military, are naturally afraid of him. They are always pale and sweating whenever he's around. It was like looking at someone who is trying to pull out a big shit off their asses. Disgusting.

Hey, at least they have nice shitting bathrooms in here. It was the only thing he was grateful for. And the big selection of cleaning supplies, too.

The second thing is that Erwin Smith is an asshole.

He thought of the many ways he would trim his eyebrows. That fucking eyebrows. When he agreed to join the Corps, he did not agree to learn basic military skills. He only needs to kill titans. Clean. Kill again. Clean again. And survive. That was all.

Levi did not understand why the asshole needs him to associate himself to the Garrison shits. As if the military police and corps are not worse enough.

 _I’m sending you to the South. Commander Pixis of the Garrison has taken a liking of you, it seems. Perhaps it would be a good time for you to learn other military skills as well._

Military skills his ass. The soldiers in this branch are either napping or drinking alcohol in broad daylight. If there's something he could learn from here, it is the fact that they are all big slackers who waste the taxes of the people. 

“Corps recruit!” That was a squad leader from the Garrison. He stood tall in front of him. Although his hair was brown, there are faint greys and silvers at the root. Must be in his early fifties, Levi thought. He is fat for a soldier and has a scar on his face. Levi has a feeling that he wouldn't like this man.

“What?”

The squad leader looked at him with disbelief.

“Where are your manners soldier?”

Levi doesn’t know how many times he had heard those words. Here on the surface, it’s all about manners. And etiquette.

“Erwin wants me to learn military skills,” the squad leader was horrified with his use of the Commander’s name, “not manners.” He spits the words.

Even if his short in stature, Levi is intimidating to other soldiers. The squad leaders not an exception to this. After all, shitty rumors of him being able to kill two titans at once are flying over different regiments. Not true but he guesses he could use that to his benefit. It keeps other people at bay.

The squad leader cleared his throat. “There’s an incoming carriage. Inspect their baggage and ask their purpose for entering Shiganshina. I trust you could do this one without fail, soldier?”

“I am not a moron. Of course, I could do that.” He left, but before he could take his survey corps jacket.

The carriage was like the ones he often sees in Sina. Those fancy rides with velvet cover, the gold railings, and the grand suits of the coachman. The only thing he liked was the beautiful horse.

Now, what are these Sina pigs doing in the southernmost town of the wall? Must be to boast their riches to the poor of Shiganshina, he thought.

The carriage stopped when the old coachman noticed him at the gate. In this scorching heat, the coachman adjusted the thick collar of his suit. Levi felt hot just by looking at him.

“Open up. I’m going to inspect the baggage.”

The man gave him a nervous smile before speaking to the person inside. Maybe asking permission or a question. He doesn’t know.

“My Lady said that she has a permit from Squad Leader Roth. The goods are free to pass.” There was a drop of sweat falling from the old man’s temple.

“Tell your Lady I don’t give a fuck about Squad Leader Roth. Open the carriage before I smash the door.” Levi’s patience was running thin. He doesn’t want to be here. If this Sina pigs won’t let him do his job properly, then he would have no choice but to result in the best skill that he has that never failed him before: Violence. Specifically, through kicking someone's face.

The coachman talked to this ‘Lady’ again. Levi watched as his face turned pale. The sweat on his face practically cooling as he dives into nervousness. This old man isn’t paid enough for this shit.

Seconds later, Levi found the man scratching the back of his head. Bowing whilst speaking to him, “My Lady said that she doesn’t have time for…” his lips quivered, unable to produce whatever words this 'Lady' of the carriage had told him to say, “uh, for some low-life scumbag like—”

Levi did not wait for the man to finish his sentence. He did his work. Immediately, he was in front of the carriage door, frantically knocking. He heard a gasp from the inside. Seems like the Lady of the carriage does not appreciate his presence as the continuous gasps and pants rattled inside. Hm. They left him no choice.

When he forced open the door, something—or someone, fell from the side. Levi immediately catches the figure. A young girl. In a frilly red dress with a red ribbon in her hair. The contrast of her bright orange hair with the red ribbon doesn’t sit right to him. He didn’t know shit about fashion, but this one’s a pretty horrible taste. The girl looked at him with sleepy eyes.

“You stinky rat! Don’t touch my daughter!” The woman, dressed in full silk, was absolutely horrified. She gripped the young girl’s arms, pulling her into the other side of the carriage. She squeezed the two of them there, looking at Levi like he was some kind of monster. Well, if this lady won’t stop giving her the stinky eye, he might become one.

“Aw, mama, it hurts!” The girl writhed under her mother’s grip.

“Oh my god! Where are you hurt, Petra?” She searched the young girl’s—Petra’s body, specifically the areas he touched when he caught her earlier.

“This is why we should not associate with the poor. They carry dirt and diseases.” She hissed at him.

“Pretty sure your grip hurt your daughter, old hag,” Levi leaned to the carriage and crossed his arms, “Just show me the things and I’m out of here in instant.”

Levi could see that the woman was horrified by his harsh words. She embraced her daughter more into her side before calling the coachman.

“Open the suitcase, Walter.”

Their belongings were linen and silks. Lots of them. He didn’t get why the woman was so pressed about him checking their baggage. Nothing was suspicious as far as he’s concern. Though he wasn’t concerned even a bit. Levi was just doing his job. The ‘Lady’ checked the suitcase countless times after his inspection, perhaps checking if he stole something. Arrogant people like her are very common in Sina. Their eyes are always ridiculing the poor.

“I apologize for my Mama’s behavior, Sir.” The girl with the red ribbon appeared behind him. She seemed genuinely regretful. Far from the arrogance of her mother, this kid is gentler. "And thank you for catching me earlier."

Levi only nodded. When the coachman and the ‘Lady’ finished checking the suitcases, Levi asked about their intentions of going to Shiganshina. Walter, the coachman, told him that they would gift the fine linens and silk to the family of the doctor who cured the Lady’s husband.

An extravagant show of gratitude but fine. It wasn’t his business to begin with. He let them pass through the gates and the girl gave him a small smile before leaving.

***

“I will make sure that that bastard will be out of the Garrison before the sun sets today. What a foolish rascal he is!” Mama sprayed what seems like a disinfectant all over Petra’s body, to her own, and inside the carriage. Her eyes watered, and she coughed from the stinging smell.

“What do I do if the doctor’s gifts are stained? Ugh! That man will pay! And he dared call me an old hag!”

Petra thinks her mama is overreacting. The soldier was just doing his job, although his vocabulary is indeed harsh. But when he caught her from her fall…

It was silly but when she opened her sleepy eyes when she fell into his arms and saw his grey ones, Petra was convinced that this man was the most handsome creature in the world. Her face felt hot and she thinks it's crazy for a young girl like her to have such thoughts about a man who is immensely older than her.

She remembered the daughter of their neighbor, Lina. She wore her hair in a bun one morning and Petra saw a dark spot in her neck. Lina was only five years older than her; Petra was afraid if she has a deadly disease. She doesn’t want her to die because she always braids her hair whenever she goes to their house to watch her arrange the flowers from their garden.

 _“You silly!”_ Lina giggled when Petra asked what the dark spot on her neck was, _“It’s something that little girls like you shouldn’t know about.”_ She pinched her nose.

Days later, she found Lina and a Garrison soldier doing 'stuffs' in the deeper part of the farm. Lina explained to her that it’s called ‘kissing’ and you should only do it with the person that you really like.

_"Really like?"_

_"Yes, Petra. Really, really like."_

The older girl also asked her to keep it a secret. Especially to her parents. She was puzzled, nevertheless, she agreed.

_"How do you know you like someone then?"_

_"Well…If you feel hot whenever this person is around, I think? And you can’t think straight when he’s near you. Basically, when you just find him attractive. That’s how you know you like someone."_

Petra thinks she kind of understands Lina now. Even just a little. So, this is what it’s like to like someone then? And if it is, then Mama won’t be happy to know that she liked someone who called her an ‘old hag’. Maybe the person Lina likes also called her mother an old hag.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the noise outside. They must be inside the district now. Petra heard shoutings and giggles from her window, which she opened regardless of her mama’s protests.

So, this is what the Shiganshina district looks like. Apart from Trost and Sina, this is the only place Petra has been to. The houses are so near each other that she imagined hearing the waves of laughter and conversations of the neighboring houses. There are children, perhaps younger than her of three or four years, running around the narrow alleys. And then their carriage reached a river, where three kids are on the stairs reading a book. The river was so peaceful. Oh, how Petra wishes to be with those kids right now. They looked like ten or eleven years old. She is more than happy to be the older sister of the group.

Petra slumped to her seat. Her legs bounced, eager to go outside already. In her head, she was already planning how she would slip into that riverside and play with the kids. She imagined reading them the book. Or reciting them poems she’d memorized from one of the rarest moments she was awake and listening to Mr. Frank’s literature lessons. Or maybe show them her drawing skills (which is not much but she figured since she’s older, she’d have more skills than them. Hopefully).

Her excitement was on the roof. Higher than the roof even. She rarely has time to play when she’s with her mama on weekends. Every time is study time.

Well, maybe this long trip to Shiganshina and wearing the red ribbon on her head was worth it after all.

“Are we there yet, Walter? My back is dying in here.” Mama said beside her. Thankfully, she already refrained from spraying more disinfectant to her body.

“Ah yes, My Lady. I just need to station the carriage.”

When their ride stopped, Petra immediately raced outside of the carriage. Her back and neck ached as she did a very much needed stretching. The sound of her bones being stretched was relaxing, although she noticed her mama giving her another stinky eye again.

The walls in Shiganshina are very much visible. She felt very small as she looked up at the wall. Wall Maria…

Now that she realized it, at her young age of fourteen, Petra had seen all three walls. The three goddesses that protect them. Maria, Rose, and Sina.

Please guide me today as well, she beamed.

Petra ran swiftly, trying to remember the direction of the river. She ignored Mama’s cry for her to come back to the carriage. After this, Mama would be exhausted and sleep on their way back to Sina. Petra would arrive in Trost by Monday morning, and by then, Mama would already forget to scold her.

She ran and ran and—

A stroke of lightning suddenly bolted into the sky.

There was a strong tremor.

A violent shaking.

“Was it an explosion?” Someone had said from the distance.

“It came from there! Seems like something fell.”

The townspeople ran to the inception of the explosion. Petra followed them as well, although her head was still dizzy from the sudden uproar.

When she reached the origin of the noise, she found all the people dumbfounded. All pale and wide-eyed. It was as if they are looking at the very moment of their death.

“What’s wrong?” She asked to no one in particular. “Just what are you staring at?”

Petra looked up to see what it was.

Her soul left her body.

Is…Is that?

No.

It can’t be.

That is? That is a…

On top of the wall, a smoking huge hand rested. It was like the human body. But without the skin. The peak of the wall crumbled as the hand gripped it stronger.

No way…

That wall is fifty meters tall.

There was the briefest silence. _The calm before the storm._

And then they saw it. She saw it.

Petra saw the head of the titan slowly emerged, peeking at them through the wall. The shadow of the head loomed over them. The titan towered the fifty meters wall.

She could not feel her body. She was both hot and cold at the same time. Her nerves tensed. Her head throbbed. Her palms are sweaty.

The titan emitted more smoke as it glared at them. What was it thinking? What was it going to do?

Petra could hear her brain telling her to run. Something dreadful was about to happen.

“It’s them!” A voice cried.

“It’s the titans!”

That shout rang into the air, then it was followed by colossal masses of rocks flitting into the air. There was a fierce vibration. The clanking sounds of falling debris echoed throughout the district.

Petra was sent flying by the pressure. She hissed in pain as her shoulder hits the ground first. Her head wobbled from the aftershock. She forced herself to stand. Her good arm gripping her aching shoulders. Petra winced in pain.

“T-They blew a hole into the wall.”

The cold wind tickled her face as Petra saw the hole. There was a hole. In the wall. She was stunned in her place as she saw them. The titans. They are coming inside the walls.

“The titans are coming!”

Abruptly, the place was filled with madness. It was chaos. The deafening sound of crying children, the pleas for help, the wails of despair, the heavy footsteps of the people running. The noise rang in her ear, drilled into her brain and it was a terrifying moment of insanity. All of it was insanity.

She looked around only to find dead bodies everywhere. Petra wanted to vomit. The district was destroyed in an instant. The rocks that flew after the tremble demolished the houses and plugged the alleys. A mother and a child were crying over a dead body under a huge boulder. The body was smashed, and the blood splintered to the ground and the grass.

For a brief second, Petra thought of the green grass she loved picking in the morning. The farm and her father flashed into her mind. What if she dies here? Would she be able to go back to her father? Would she be able to spend the weekdays with him again? Would she be able to taste his vegetable soup again? Would he see her again in her beautiful orange dresses? What about Lina’s stories about the person she likes? Would she be able to hear them again? What about Oluo? Would he miss her if she dies? Would he bully another girl in their neighborhood?

_What about my mother?_

A sudden chill bolted in Petra’s weakening body. How could she forget her mother? You silly! You silly daughter! Petra scolded herself. She felt a pang of guilt when she remembers a boy who used to bully her first rather than her mother.

Petra forced herself to walk. She ignored the throbbing pain in her shoulders. She runs. Run faster as she recalled the flying rock.

Their carriage— No. There’s no way their carriage was hit. Once she turns that corner, their carriage is…

She ran faster and faster.

The screams and cries only grew louder. It pierced in her ear. Almost there…

“Mama!”

Petra found her mother. Alive. She was still inside the carriage. But under a huge boulder. In an instant she was beside her, lifting the remains of their wrecked carriage.

“Petra.” Her mama’s voice was weak.

She was crying as she tried to lift the remains. Her palms were splintered. They were bleeding. She heard vibrations again, and she saw more titans entering the district. Their stomp rumbled the earth.

Petra heaved stronger. Stronger. And stronger. _Focus_. She can’t tremble.

Her eyes watered but she can’t stop the tears. She has to lift this thing first. When she and her mother escaped, she could wipe these tears as much as wants.

So, lift stronger, Petra. You can’t let your mother die here.

Stronger. Please. _Please_.

“The titans have come inside, haven’t they?”

Petra purposely ignored her mother. She lifted more. More. Please.

“Petra. Run away.” She ignored her mama again.

“Petra! Run away! Hurry!”

The tears flowed more. And she lifted more.

“I want to run away! So, get up already Mama!” Petra could not even see what she’s lifting anymore. It was blurry. Why was this thing so heavy? Why won’t it move?

Please. I beg you. Please, move.

“Petra, my legs are crushed from the rubble. Even if I get out of here, I can’t run. You understand, right?”

Petra couldn’t see her mother, but she could picture her face right now. It was the same face she had when her new husband told her that she could only see Petra two days a week. The same face she had when she heard Petra talking about how much she hated being on the manor during Saturdays and Sundays. The same face she had when Petra stopped using her second name—Jane, which was given to her by her mother. The same face she had when she told her that she doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas with her in the manor even if it fell on a Saturday. Petra knew that face very well.

It was her mother’s face of pain and sorrow.

“I’ll run away carrying you!” Inside her head, it was only her and her mother. Everything was silent. She persisted and did not stop lifting the remains of the carriage.

“Why don’t you ever listen to what I tell you?!”

She cried more. Lifted more.

“You are a very stubborn girl! You never listen when I told you to stop bathing in the sunlight! You never listen when I told you to dress well! You never listen when I told you to learn your etiquette lessons! You never listen when I told you to practice your writing and reading! You never listen to your mother’s stories every time you come home to the manor...” the last line was spoken in a soft tone. Her mother’s voice quivered.

“Please run away, Petra. At least listen to my final request…”

There was a choking sob, followed by a soft cry. And then a sob again.

“No…No, Mama!”

Petra shook her head. She noticed a titan coming to them.

“At this rate, the two of us will…” her mother heaved another choking sob.

***

Shit. Shit. Shit. _Shit._

Fuck. Fuck, it all.

Levi was seconds away from leaving his station. He was already riding his horse, but this huge fucker decided to show up now. He went into expedition for five times already, but never once he encountered or heard of a titan bigger than the fucking wall.

And now this brainless piece of shit left a hole. All of them are going to die.

He wasn’t pissed because the Garrisons have no experience in battling titans. They were trained to guard the walls, which was understandable. But he was so pissed when he saw their pathetic faces, some soldiers fled on their own. The pathetic cowards.

How do these assholes expect normal people to survive if they got cold feet?

The Corps’ headquarters is in Trost. Two hours away from here at a normal speed. But on top speed maybe…

Maybe they can reach it in an hour. Or less.

Should he race there now? Or should he send someone to report to Erwin? Should he stay here in the gates to assist in the evacuation? Or should he fly out there and kill?

_Fuck._

He hates to admit this, but with Erwin not in sight, Levi was lost.

Levi gripped a younger soldier’s shoulder from the Garrison. “You,” the young soldier flinched, “Go and ride my horse below and tell Erwin— tell Commander Erwin Smith that the wall has been breached.” The soldier was unmoving, the kid probably was overwhelmed with the situation. Levi was tempted to hit his face, but he shook his body instead. There was a bit of life coming to his face.

“You heard what I told you?” the soldier absentmindedly nodded.

“I want you to reach Trost in thirty minutes, you got it? If you escaped on your own, I’ll make sure to toss your ass in the titan’s pit faster than you can say horse.” The young soldier quivered at his warning. Levi pushed him into the pulley, and he watched as the kid started riding his horse. Fast.

More and more titans entered the walls. Levi heard that long wailing scream that he only hears outside the walls. The scream of a soldier when a titan gripped their bodies. If you are skilled enough, you could survive. But fear always governed. Once you see them face to face, once your body felt their hot skin, it was all over. You are practically waiting for your death.

Levi promptly raced to the said scream. These are civilians. Whether it was fear or surrender they have felt in their last moments, he has a duty to save them.

Huh. Funny. Duty was never in his vocabulary until seconds ago.

He killed the 12-meter titan in one swift motion. A middle-aged man fell to the ground, and he was stunned in horror from his near-death experience.

“Move your ass if you don’t want to be killed!” Levi barked to the man. He was shaking while standing. Still shaking as he ran for his life.

The blades of the Garrison were dull, but Levi managed to kill more titans before he had to go back to the walls to replace them. More than half an hour already passed, and Levi could already feel his nerves numbing. The battles outside the walls usually lasted fifteen minutes. Twenty if there are complications. Time is of essence outside the titan’s territory, plus Erwin’s strategies are always spot-on.

This is an unplanned battlefield. Many had died already, and Levi cringed at the poor use of the canons. The Garrisons are fucking shaking. Some stations are abandoned and the few who risked their lives to kill titans were eaten in an instant.

Shit. Their ODM skills are no better than the timid recruits in Shadis’ orientation. Will these people even survive? Why the fuck are the Corps aren’t here yet?

If that kid did run on his own, Levi swears he’d kill him.

***

It all happened so fast. One moment, Petra was crying and heaving, lifting the carriage under the boulder. It didn’t budge one bit. Seconds later, she was watching as the titan effortlessly tossed the said boulder, lifting her mother’s body into the air. Her mother wailed and wailed. She wiggled under the titan’s grip and screamed in agony.

Petra slumped into the ground. The little girl didn’t know how many times her soul left her body in the last minutes. But this... She was completely stunned. She was a breathing statue.

At the back of her brain, she wondered if she was dreaming. When she prayed to the goddesses hours before and slept in the carriage, she wondered if this was part of the dream she’s having.

What were the phrases her mother said again?

_Oh Maria, Oh Rose, Oh Sina. Our Patrons. Thank you for the protection of the walls. We wish for your guidance in our journey._

Petra repeated the chants in her head.

_Oh Maria, Oh Rose, Oh Sina. Our Patrons. Thank you for the protection of the walls. We wish for your guidance in our journey._

_Oh Maria, Oh Rose, Oh Sina. Our Patrons. Thank you for the protection of the walls. We wish for your guidance in our journey._

_Oh Maria, Oh Rose, Oh Sina_ —“Aaaaaaah! Release me you monster!”

She heard her mother’s scream. And that’s when it occurred to her that everything was real. Everything slowed down. She couldn’t hear her mother’s scream properly, her voice seemed muffled. Then it became deep and antagonizing. Like her mother was screaming from the deepest parts of the grounds. Or the deepest parts of the water.

The titan snaps her mother’s body using its sharp big teeth.

A drop of blood flow to her face. The hot red liquid pulled her out of her daze.

Wha?

Mother?

The screams died, replaced by the loud shattering of bones.

Mother? Her mother…

Her mother is dead…

Now her body is being eaten by the titan…

This time, it was Petra who wailed. No sound escaped her throat. But in the middle of that madness, the grief in her heart was the loudest.

She recalled being five, dressed in her mother’s dress that she secretly stole to her dresser. Her mother would scold her after because she’d soiled the lace.

She recalled being eight and was informed that her mother would leave their home on the farm. She was only allowed to see her twice a week.

She could not recall anything anymore. Moments with her mother seemed to always pass in a blur. Petra sobbed when she realized that she would never have things to recall anymore. Her mother was dead…

Her sobs turned into a scream of fear as she realized that the very same titan who ate her mother was approaching her. She hugged herself. Petra turned into a tiny ball in the middle of the district. With everyone running for their own life, no one would dare stop and help a child like her who let her mother be killed.

Or so she thought.

A loud thud resonates in the area, followed by a screeching sound of wires. The next thing she knew, she was flying. A pair of strong arms enveloping her weak and young body.

Petra felt an odd sense of safety in the middle of death and the battlefield.

***

It was an abnormal feeling even for him. To feel peace hours after the moment that almost wipe the entire mankind into the face of this shitty world. Wall Maria has been breached. The biggest fucking wall has been breached. They lost a good amount of territory and lives.

Levi watched as the young girl dozed off in his arms, his Corps jacket wrapped around her tiny body. He was small on his own, but in the darkness and quiet of his room in the barracks, with the snoozing young girl in his arms, he felt a little bigger. A little stronger. It gave him that false sense of power.

The kid wouldn’t stop shaking when he grabbed her from the ground hours ago. Her eyes were that of a soldier who miraculously came back from his first expedition. The ones who experienced the terror of the titans first-hand. An experience that they don’t want to feel anymore.

This little girl was the same. Levi remembered her. That gentle kid from the carriage, Petra. It was insane how that same girl with a red ribbon on her head was now covered in a different red. _Dried blood._

Petra did not let go of Levi from the moment he picked her up. She clung to him. She gripped his Corps jacket and begged him to never leave her side. The girl practically squeezed herself inside his arms. Levi didn’t know anything about comfort. He didn’t like physical contact either. But something about her quivering lips, her soft voice of pleas, and her hopeless eyes reminded him of himself when he lost his own mother.

He has no idea what she’d seen, but he guessed she saw her mother being eaten by a titan. That arrogant old hag. Somehow, Levi felt bad for the woman.

Levi removed the red ribbon from Petra’s head. It was faint but if you look closely, there was a stain of blood in there. Her breathing was soft, and Levi felt the soft vibration of her breathing. When he tried moving from his position, the girl grunted but did not wake. She was so, so calm.

But that calmness was short-lived.

The door to his room opened and Erwin entered. He had called him Commander earlier when he asked the Garrison soldier to report to him about the breach. That young soldier did his work, the Corps arrived an hour after the breach.

“What do you plan to do with that child, Levi? Surely you do not want to raise a kid while in the Corps, don’t you?” Erwin Smith sat into a chair inside the room.

Levi knew this was Erwin Smith joking. The large man has a strange sense of humor. And the way he said it…with his serious face and that fucking huge eyebrows, one might feel that it was a true question. A rational statement.

But hey, not that he could complain. He was also aware of his own strange shitty humor.

“Tch. This brat wouldn’t stop clinging to me. Once she’s out of her cat nap, I’m kicking her out of my room.”

Erwin smiled a little. He probably knows that Levi wouldn’t do that, but he was very much entertained with his choice of words. A man with strange humor knows another man with strange humor.

“The Garrisons told me about your fearless act in Shiganshina.” Ah, shit. Levi didn’t want to be praised or anything. Especially from a huge asshole with a huge eyebrow.

“You have changed, Levi. You are a contrast of yourself a year ago.”

“That’s bullshit.” Petra made a soft noise in his arms.

But Erwin continued his fancy oration, “I think the military life befits you. You possess strength and you are not afraid of death.” There was fire and determination as Erwin looks at him in the eyes. “Serve the Corps, Levi.”

“What are you talking about, Eyebrows? I’m ser—”

“I think I worded it out wrong.” Erwin gave a polite smile while shaking his head. And then his eyes and face were all seriousness again.

“Serve the Corps on your own volition, Levi. Serve humanity of your own free will. No looking back. I don’t want you to simply lend us your strength.”

If Erwin’s eyes in the frontlines were not burning enough, then this look of him is a literal fire. It could turn the whole room into ashes.

“Be the strength, Levi. Be the Wings of Freedom.”

***

"Mama? Are we going out?" 

Petra rubbed her sleepy eyes. She stood in the doorway of her parent's room, watching as her mama stuffed her clothes in a small bag. Mama sniffed when she saw her.

"Where are we going, mama? Where is papa?"

Mama approached her and put her hands on Petra's face. "Listen, sweetie," her mother is crying now, "Mama is going out for a bit, okay? You wait here for your Papa, hm?" 

Mama kissed her forehead, and Petra started to cry as well. 

As far as she can remember, her mother is a kind woman. She always makes breakfast for her and her father every morning. Although she didn't like working in the fields, her mother kept the house clean every day, cook meals for them, and prepare clean clothes for Petra and her father. It was a simple but happy life back then.

But it changed one day because of a stranger who happened to take a liking to one of the pieces of land in their village.

That stranger—that man, wasn’t hard to read. Tall velvet hat, velvet suit, a golden cane, and the most polished shoes in all of Wall Rose, not to mention the big, gold-plated carriage. It speaks of one thing: wealth.

And wealth equates to power.

That power must have been the thing that man used to get her mother, Petra thinks. In a snap, her mama was out of their house, racing to the carriage. That was when Petra realized what being powerful can do. And what being powerless can do.

Her mama was taken away from her twice. Once, by the man from Sina. She was eight and powerless. Twice, by the titan who came from outside of the walls. She is fourteen. Still powerless.

Petra started to sob as she recalled what happened. Everything was too much. All the emotions—pain, sorrow, anger, the aching of her body—washed over her. All at once. 

Her eyes are still closed. She refused to open them because maybe, just maybe, if she opens them she might see the world again and it will give her that concrete proof that everything was real. Her mother is dead. Their coachman is dead. And the wall...it has been breached. Images of the titan eating her mother flashed through her head. 

Petra's entire body started shaking violently. She couldn't stop it. Tears started to stream her face and she gripped the first thing she could grasp. She squeezed it hard, almost clenching the life out of whatever it is that she's holding.

But she was surprised when it squeezed back. 

A hand. 

That's was she was holding. 

Another person's hand. 

She opened her eyes and saw darkness all over. Petra is reclining over another person's body. This person's arms, almost tentatively, were embracing her and she felt her body stopped shaking. That's when she remembers the soldier before, the one with the grey eyes. The one who caught her when she almost fell from their carriage.

He caught her again. But the second time, the man took her to the sky. 

Petra felt it again. The odd sense of safety that magically wipes away her worries and fears. She gripped his hands harder and her tears come to an end as she once again fell into a deep slumber.

***

“This your house, kid?”

Petra nodded.

Good.

“You going inside or not?”

Petra nodded again.

That was good again.

Levi waited for five seconds. Then ten. Then thirty. Until it was a minute. He certainly isn’t the most patient guy in the universe, but he was trying not to be harsh to someone who just lost her mother.

“Okay, kid. Let go of my sleeves and go,” he told her. She nodded again but refused to let him go.

A week has passed since the breach. Probably a long time for the kid to be with him, but the girl refused to let go. She becomes hysterical when he's not around. On her second day, the headquarters was woken by a scream in the middle of the night. He was just trying to make his tea. Careful and quiet, he heads to the barracks' kitchen. Not even two minutes and the brat is already crying. He got an extra homily from Erwin because of that. And maybe a few more pairs of furious eyes in the morning.

Do these assholes really think that he's enjoying this? Tch. He can't even take his time to piss and shit properly. He can't even train outside. Fuck, his body was aching from lying on his bed. He doesn't even sleep but this girl... It was like taking care of a baby. Except this one is too fucking big.

Honestly, he felt like a creepy perverted old man. He's keeping a young girl in his own room. He kept the door open but still. How old is this girl even? Twelve? Thirteen? Maybe even younger because she's small and weak. Levi is twenty-nine, but all these are making him feel like a seventy-year-old crazy old man. He hates the feeling.

In the one week that she's with him in the headquarters, the only thing she did was cry, sleep, and eat. That's just what she does, which was normal if you asked him. The kid saw something terrible, of course, she would have her depressing episodes. Maybe many more in the future (he knew because he had those too).

But he has a job to do. And that job requires him to move, not to babysit kids like her. Sure, he can relate to her, but that was all. It's not like he's a therapy doctor. He's a killing machine. He kills. That's what he does. A child has no place in the barracks. More so, in his life. 

That's why he was more than pleased when the girl told him that she wants to go home. Finally. But she insisted that he personally take her home.

Fine, one last request. Let's give it to this brat. 

He thought she lives in Sina, but he was surprised when she said 'Trost'. The same district where their headquarters are.

"But it's a little farther than here. Our farm..." Petra told him in a small voice. 

But now that they are here, in front of their house, almost fifteen minutes of horse ride away from the barracks, Petra still refused to let him go.

Levi isn’t very tall compared to her. He was short, but he made peace with that insecurity a long time ago (he did not). Still, there was a difference in their height. Levi crouched down to her level and looked into her eyes. 

The first he’d seen them, they were bright orange. Now, they were dull.

“Kid. I know you saw something, uh…” he was looking for the right words, “…really shitty.” Fuck. Not the right words to say to a kid.

Petra’s grip on his sleeve tightened just a little bit. She is listening.

“I lost someone important to me too. Lots.” Why was he narrating his life story to a grieving child?

Levi cleared his throat, “It’s…uh, hard. Yeah. Hard.” Yeah. This is hard.

“You know what? Fuck it. People die. That’s normal.” Petra made a noise.

“I mean, uh, people are born. Yeah. They eat. They shit and piss. They clean. And then, they die. That’s normal.”

He wasn’t the best to give comfort. Not especially to a child.

“But.” Levi put his hands on her head, shuffling her hair a little. “But that doesn’t mean that the ones left behind can’t grieve.” Petra sniffed, her body shaking. Shit. Maybe he just makes it more painful for the girl.

She lowered her head and some of her orange hair fell into her face, shielding her forehead and eyes from Levi. But he knew that the girl was crying. Or rather, trying not to cry. She was acting so damn tough.

“You can cry, brat. The world won’t end if you cry for the dead.”

Her sniffs turn into sobs. And the sobs were getting louder.

“But make sure to never cry for the rest of your life. Let it all out today. Or until tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow. Do what you need to do to cope, but you gotta live. That’s how you can avenge the dead. To live your life as yours. To live life with no regrets.”

Petra hugged him. He _almost_ embraced her back but refused to. He felt the wet of her tears on his neck. Tch, those fat tears would stain his uniform. Deep inside, Levi had this ugly and pitiful thought that maybe he wanted someone to say those words to him before. But no one did. He is not kind, but he isn’t a bitch either. (Just sometimes).

The girl released him, but her grip on his sleeves did not falter. She was still clinging. Levi stands up, took the small blade he always had with him and cuts a part of his Survey Corps jacket.

His badge.

“I can’t always be with you, brat. I have a duty to the majority of this world’s pissing population," Levi removed Petra’s hands on his sleeves. She was strong, but he was stronger, "That includes you.”

Petra made a screeching noise when Levi successfully released her grip from his jacket.

“Eyebrows would probably be angry at me, but fuck him. I don’t want a gloomy brat who clings to me even in the bathroom. You take that." Levi handed her his badge, "That’s your own wings.”

He did not waste the opportunity. Almost immediately, he was beside his horse, ready to go back to the headquarters, but he gave her a final look. 

And there she was. 

Her fist on her heart. _The Survey Corps' salute._ Her eyes were red from crying, but she looked at him intently. _Dedicate your heart._

Levi snorted. Some kid knows how to express gratitude, all right. He salutes back to her. And on his way back, he realized that it was the first time he did that. _Dedicate your heart._

***

“That’s your own wings.”

He had said to her. He gave her his badge and told her that it was her own wings. She could fly.

In the openness of their farm, she saw a group of birds flying. Free and happy. Petra didn't have the chance to ask him his name. Maybe she was too entranced by the comfort of his presence that she forgot to ask.

She will let out all of the tears today. Maybe until tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow. These tears will pull her down and submerge her. He gave her his wings. The wings of freedom. If she wants to fly, then she needs to remove the weight of her own tears. She needs to remove the baggage.

Petra would train her wings. Train them until she could see him again.

Until she could fly like him.

Until she could fly beside him.

And maybe then, she could ask his name and salute him proudly without the big, fat tears falling from her eyes. 

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god???? she really posted her first fanfic on ao3 how's that


End file.
